No matter what your chosen goal in life, you'll discover many paths lead in that direction.
Anyone who says otherwise is either lying or selling something. Probably both.
The path to success is unique to each individual because we are all unique--just as God created us to be. Yes, of course, there are common qualities that can help each of us toward our goals:
- Perseverance
- Commitment to growth and learning
- Seeking wisdom from mentors
- Struggles
That last one often gives people pause because we too often buy into the myth that if we're doing everything "right," then our journeys should be relatively smooth. Yeah, there's a reason I call that a myth.
Trials and tribulations can be of our own doing--but they can also come out of the blue. A car accident. An unexpected death. A long-expected child arrives disabled or with serious health problems. Or something as simple as exhaustion can lead to mistakes or mind-numbing disconnection.
We tend to push ourselves hard, more so than we realize. If we have negative voices in our lives that have become imprinted in our brains--"You're lazy; you'll never amount to anything; why are you even trying; get a real job and stop dreaming"--we can be driven to the point of collapse by trying to prove them wrong.
When I talk to writers at conferences, I often remind them that I am ONE VOICE. Just like every other editor or mentor. I am not omnipotent, especially when it comes to their life path. My usual advice is for them to listen to many, then decide what works for them and pursue that with all the perseverance they can muster.
Like any other profession, it usually takes YEARS to become a published author with any name recognition. Anything else is lightning in a bottle--to be admired and appreciated but not imitated. Think about it: how long does it take to be a successful lawyer or doctor? Engineer? Years of schooling (think conferences, classes, and mentors), plus apprenticeships (internships) and guidance from those who came before.
For some reason, people think writing is easy...everyone can write a book. But writing is HARD WORK. And writing well takes time and lots of hours of practice--and failure.
I've written a few books. About 13 of those have been published, plus one novella. I have four more novels and another novella under contract. I've contributed to more than 20 others. I've written devotions for websites and magazines. I've had magazine articles and short stories published.
But one of those novels took a DECADE to find a publisher. I also have 6 complete and unpublished novels and more than 350 rejections in my files. I still hear "No!" from my agent.
Sometimes the writing is easy; in May 2020 I wrote a 100,00o-word novel in just over a month--which still hasn't sold. But these last three months, I have struggled to complete a novel that SHOULD have been easy to write. Only it wasn't. I missed my first deadline, then my extended one. My editor has been a gem, even as she struggled with her own issues, encouraging me, guiding me, and pushing me. I could not have made it through without her.
It's done, but I'm exhausted, mentally and creatively. Prone to tears at the drop of a hat, mostly from relief these days.
Seriously, anyone who thinks writing and editing a book is easy has never done it. Admittedly, sometimes the endeavor goes well. Most of the time...no.
Why do I do it? Because I can't NOT write. I've tried to quit a couple of times, but I get itchy and grouchy, and even my friends send me back to the computer.
So in whatever endeavor you are involved, remember that struggling isn't failure. It's just a stepping stone to the next success.
