Whose Path of Choice? (Part Two)

Well, to continue from this blog post…

As the song in Avenue Q asks, “What do you do with a BA in English?” especially if you’re not going to teach. My first option was to go for a Master’s Degree.

Yeah, that didn’t last long.

Over the course of my life, I’ve discovered that when I push too hard and too long in my own direction, instead of God’s, He just bides His time until I hit a wall. Then I bounce around for awhile, looking like a dog who's caught a car he'd been chasing, until I realize which direction He wants me headed, at least for the time being.

A year into my master’s degree, I hit one that was big and hard. And it wasn’t the only one. Stubborn as I am, I kept trying to go MY way. I would not listen. MY way or no way. Stubbornness took root, and the next decade plus involved some of the roughest years of my life.

Don’t get me wrong. I had some good times; some great times. I advanced some in my career, but not much. Most days toddled along with the usual ups and downs. But the setbacks were huge. My marriage struggled. I finished my MA, but the job I'd finished it for disappeared overnight. I had Rachel, and all my dreams for a princess child shattered and had to be reformed. I lost a job, as did my husband. I stopped writing. I stopped editing. I stopped reading. I divorced.

I hit my knees and surrendered.

And the world suddenly turned on a new axis.

This is hard to explain to someone who’s not a believer. From the outside, I still struggled and had hard times. Financial and career valleys as well as mountain peaks. From the inside, however, the struggles were no longer against a wall. They were now obstacles on a new and open path. I stumbled. I skinned a few knees and palms. I twisted the occasional ankle. I praised and I sorrowed.

But hope and a clear direction had returned. And as I closed in on middle age, I discovered a new clarity on all that I’d been through.

I had been prepped. Every step along the way.

Remember that shotgun approach to education?

·         An interest in archaeology led me to take a class in Greek – which was instrumental in my getting a job with the Bible department of Thomas Nelson that salvaged me after my divorce.

·         A class in linguistics provided me with a background in how children acquire language and what they can learn in the womb – which helped me care for Rachel and find ways to help her progress and learn words.  

·         All that science-based education made me able to seek out freelance jobs in a variety of arenas when I was working from home (either by choice…or not). (Yeah, I’d always wanted to proofread HVAC educational materials, but, hey—they paid well.)

I could go on like this for days. Sometimes it seems as if everything I've been through has all led to what God wants me to do. Or, to look at it in another way, He turned it all for good.

And, trust me. If He can do it for me, He can do it for anyone. He can lead anyone to the mountain top.