Loss of Identity - Year 3

We're coming up on the third anniversary, and I promised myself I would not dwell on it this year. I am going to limit it to two posts, this being the first.

But it's hard not to remember those last few weeks. The visits to see Rachel up at Phyllis's home. How unsuspecting we were that we were close to our final goodbyes.

It's even harder this year, it seems, because I've finally decided on a new church. I've been in my new neighborhood for almost a year, and at a job I love for almost two. All without the identity I carried so proudly for almost 29 years.

Rachel's mom.

Oh, I know I still am, and always will be. But these new folks will never know her or much about her. For them, I will never be "Rachel's mom." And with the church, especially, it's shaky territory.

You see, Rachel was a huge reason I joined Pennington UMC in Nashville and remained there for 24 years. After my divorce, I visited a lot of churches. First I would visit; then I'd take Rachel. The final decision rested not only on how I felt or was received but how she was. From the very first moment we walked through the door at Pennington, folks were all over her. Talking TO her, which was also vital. They embraced us totally. Even after Rachel moved in with Phyllis in another town, the folks at Pennington asked about her, followed what was going on with her. Pennington's pastor, Bud Alexander, even drove up to the hospital to be with us during that last night.

Now, visiting churches in the Birmingham area, I had lost both my identity and my touchstone. No Miss Rachel to bring out the best--or worst--in folks. 

It's a horrific adjustment, but one I have to make. God's walking with me through, one step at a time.

I love this shot of Mother and Rachel. I can't see Mother's face, but I know exactly what's going on. Mother had a gap between her two front teeth, and she could push air behind her upper lip, brace her tongue against that gap, then force the air through in a way that made a delightful, rhythmic squeaky sound that absolutely transfixed animals and small children. I've never heard anything like it, and neither had they. It made Rachel giggle wildly.

I've been going through a lot of pictures lately, which my brother and I inherited from my mother. Some folks I don't know. Others I barely did. A lot of them are gone now, as are Mother and Rachel. At a time when the ubiquitous cameras in our lives take a lot of criticism, I just have one thought about that...some day, the pictures will be all that's left. So take 'em while you got 'em.

Endorsers, Influencers, Street Teams, and Reviewers - Oh My!

This post was inspired by two things. This blog by Janet Grant, and my upcoming need for all of the folks listed in the title.

I have a book coming out in October: Murder in the Family. And - YES - the marketing starts now. NO, it is not too soon.

If you're an author, you need to know this. Marketing comes in all shapes and sizes, and it extends FAR beyond, "Hey, y'all, buy my book." It's about involvement, authenticity, and engagement. It's knowing the difference between social media, broadcast media, and long-lead media. It's understanding that in the era of Amazon and indies, the "secret" to discoverability (which is your key to success) is in the word-of-mouth between readers, references from people they trust, and knowing where they find books.

If you're an avid reader, watching for tidbits from your favorite authors can guide you to the next big thing--and as a street team member, you can engage with your favorites in ways never seen before in publishing.

READERS used to be the "end game" in publishing. The final destination. Now, they are an integral part of the process and as involved in the success of a book as anyone else in the publishing process.

Janet does a better job of describing street teams and influencers than I possibly could. Please click over and read her blog.

Endorsers (all those wonderful folks listed in the front of the book or on the back) may or may not be great influencers, but they give readers a glimpse of what a skilled reader thought of your book. Endorsers need to be lined up early in the game, as soon as a final manuscript is ready. (After content edit but before copyedit is a good time to start.) Also, try to give endorsers at least two months to read the book, and don't be afraid to send reminders.

Reviewers can be street team members, but if they don't have the energy or the time to be on your street team, they can still be invaluable just by posting their responses to your book on social media, blogs, and retail sites.

Reading can be both a solitary activity or a group dynamic. Whatever level you want to dig into, I hope 2019 brings plenty of opportunities. 

And if you're interested in working with me in one of these four ways, please let me know, either here or on Facebook.

The Obligatory New Year's Post

Keeping this one short and sweet. Here's hoping that ALL OF YOU find a place of grace and hope in 2019. That you find peace and contentment in whatever you choose to do.

At a Word Weavers retreat:
Tearing down the walls.

I have found that "changing for the new year" doesn't usually work, and can create needless frustrations. Instead, I just want to set some reasonable goals and work toward them.

1. Write more.
2. Focus more intently on my work at New Hope and acquiring great books.
3. Rebuild my speaking ministry. (More on that in a later blog.)
4. Spend more time in intercessory prayer.

That's it! Four things I can focus on daily, keeping in mind that the ultimate goal is to stay open to God's work in my life. Listening to Him, after all, is the best thing any of us can do.